The Fox and the Hound

        Sorry...I'm late again. Bad blogger! Bad!. Anywho, if you read my blog and you enjoy it, please click the little follow button. Also, if you have an opinion, please vote at the bottom of the page. Thanks, darlings. 

        This week I did the saddest movie known to man. It makes Titanic, The Green Mile, and Steel Magnolias look like comedies. No matter what age you are, you will need a bucket to catch your tears while you watch this movie. This movie is (in case you didn't catch the title of this post): The Fox and the Hound. 

         Let the viewing commence! First question:

      

   Who is Buena Vista and why do all of the older movies credit them? Why don't they still do that today? I mean, I get that they are a "film distribution" company, but why aren't they still distributing? And what does the film distribution industry do? 

    The beginning animation in this movie is flawless! I love this era of Disney. Right before the first chase scene, the camera focuses on a spider web. What are spiders? They're predators. They kill other insects. This is introducing the food chain theme and the topic of aggression. Circle of life, babe. Now we hear the violent yelps of hounds and the image of a running fox with a baby. Hmmm...what is this trying to say? 

     The music is, once again, very well composed in this movie. There's two contrasting melodies. There's the strings, which are playing very smooth melodic lines. Then, there's the brass section which is playing rapid, jumpy beats. The two sections are fighting on articulation, melody, instrumentation, and style. In short, the music is mimicking the combative nature of the fox and the hound that will be examined throughout the movie. 

      So mama fox drops the baby and runs, so that the hounds chase her and she goes down in a death that rivals Bambi's mom. Don't you just love the motherly sacrifice though? People complain that Disney parents die a lot, but the truth is that those parents are all demonstrations of how parents should love their children. 

       The baby fox is found by a wise owl named Big Mama. Because why not? Big Mama, being the strong independent female that she is, says "heck no" to raising the fox. Instead, she finds a way to get an elderly widow to stumble across him and take him in. And it's love at first sight. She bottle feeds him and names him Tod. 

         Then there's a bit of a culture clash as the picture moves from the domestic bliss of Widow Tweed's well-manicured lot to Amos Slade's redneck haven. And we see the cutest dang puppy to ever grace the animated screen!

    

                                                         "I'm a hound dog!"

          The interesting thing about this film is that there is no direct antagonist. Most people probably dislike Amos, but he isn't a villain. He just embraces a different lifestyle. Instead of a good vs. evil concept, the movie embraces a species vs. species conflict. It's fox vs. hound, and bird vs. caterpillar, man vs. woman, and even caterpillar vs. plant at one point. 

           Tod and Copper both wander from their respective homes. This is the comparison portion. So far, the movie has focused on how the two species are different. Now, they are being compared. The two meet and because society has not yet told them they're enemies, they become friends. They're friends because no one has told them that they can't be. There is so much foreshadowing though in Copper's character. The "I'm a hound dog" line shows that he is already being told what and who he is. The whole purpose of this scene is to demonstrate that the two are the same:

         

                                         Congratulations. Your mind is thoroughly blown.

           

        Big Mama sings this absolutely love song called "Best of Friends". Here are the lyrics: http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/classicdisney/bestoffriends.htm. If you're too lazy to click on the link, you're stupid but not to worry. The song just talks about how society is full of stupid heads who just want to destroy happiness. True story.

         Then they have to go and say, "We'll always be friends forever." WHY?! The whole thing just kills me inside. Copper has to go back home. This is a subtle indication of disapproval from authority figures. Amos starts working to keep Copper home, therefore blocking his free spirit and naive relationship. Tod, being the little rebel that he is, goes and visits the restrained Copper. They chat a little, and Chief, who is luckily asleep, starts dreaming. He is dreaming that he is chasing a fox. Seriously, could they emphasize the feud between species more than they are? The themes in this movie are completely idiot-proof. 

          Chief wakes up (oh no!) and Amos runs out of the house like a mad man. Turns out that the mighty hunter is a horrible shot. Why is it that only the good guys can shoot well in movies? Stuff happens, and it turns into a car chase scene, with Tod and Widow Tweed leading the way. I'd like to take a moment to comment on how one bullet simultaneous puncture several holes in three different milk jugs in the back of Widow Tweed's car. The magic of Disney, folks. Widow Tweed gets out of her car and let's Amos know what's up. This woman is a firecracker. This scene really does have some great quotes though. "You blasted female!" (Yeah! That'll show her). And of course, my favorite word (You'll understand if you've read post 2), "Poppycock!" Who does that remind you of?

       

                  

   
        Disney must love that word...then again, who doesn't? I think we should bring "poppycock" back into style.

            Now Tod and Copper can't be friends. Widow Tweed shuts Tod up in the house and Copper is back on the rope. Basically, they are the platonic Romeo and Juliet. A plague on both your farms! The fact that when not being able to see each other, Tod and Copper are confined, resembles how avoiding different cultures makes a person sheltered. They aren't experiencing life- just confinement. That is what happens when ignorance forces a person to only acknowledge people who are like them. The beauty of life is diversity. 

            Amos takes Chief and Copper on a hunting trip and makes Copper ride in the back. Isolation is showing that Copper, at this moment, is different than the hunters. He is more of a free spirit than a conformist at this point. Copper howls at Tod as they pull away. Let's talk about that though, shall we? This is the second time Copper has howled at Tod. The first time was when they met in the forest. The howl does a couple of things. First, it points out Copper's true nature. Copper is bred and raised to find foxes. He is a hunter. Howling at Tod shows who he is, and what he's meant to do. The howl also foreshadows Copper's aggressive pursual of Tod. 

              With Copper gone, Big Mama seizes the opportunity to warn Tod about his ignorance. She tells Tod that despite his friendship, Copper is still a hound dog and Tod is still a fox (what's in a name? A fox by any other name would still smell as sweet...or however foxes smell). Big Mama shows Copper Amos' shed full of fox furs.

     

          HOW IS THIS OK?? This is a kid's film! If this were about humans, then this would be a horror movie. Imagine Big Mama opening the door to see a bunch of human carcasses. Also, is that Tod's mother on the left? Because that is definitely NOT okay!

          Tod assures Big Mama that he trusts Copper, which is good. Trust is good. I'm just more of an advocate of cautious trust. In other news, this turns out to be the longest fricking hunting trip known to man. They show seasons passing. That's how long it is. Also, Squeaks is still alive! That's good news, right? Squeaks is the caterpillar by the way. I don't think I've talked about him. He's cool. Dinky and Boomer, the two birds who are always trying to make a meal of him (and failing miserably) are perfect examples of how grudges will consume you. These birds are spending their every moment chasing this caterpillar and are suffering as a result of it. Once again, idiot-proof. Squeaks avoids the two birds by sneaking into Widow Tweed's house and curling up in a plant pot. When spring comes, the plant is dead. The birds kill the bugs, the bugs kill the plants. The fox and the hound is being paralleled throughout the movie. 

          The hunters are on their way home from the hunting trip (finally) and Big Mama's prediction is true: 

     

                                             This fool is even wearing Amos' hat.

          Copper, over the course of however long this trip has been, became more like his hunting friends. He is a changed man, I tell you. Tod is all excited that his platonic soulmate has returned and declares that he will go visit him when it is safe. Here's my question: Why does Tod STILL want to be friends with Copper? Time has passed. He needs to move on. And sure, Copper was a big part of his childhood, but did he not just see Copper riding back into town in a truck with a pile of fox skins? "My best friend murders everyone who's like me, but that's okay. I still love him to death (literally)." Use your head, Tod!

           Copper is bragging to Chief about his master hunting skills, and Chief isn't having any of it. He says that being able to track isn't enough; "you gotta think nasty." Um, I'm sorry. I'm from flippin' Idaho. I know dang well that "think[ing] nasty" isn't a priority in hunting. Anyone ever seen Avatar? They hunt. They're not nasty. Pocahontas? More friendly hunters. Nobody hunts for the sake of being evil. They do it for either sport or survival. You'd have to be an idiot to have a grudge on an animal to the extent that that's the only reason you hunt. 

            At night when everyone is asleep, Tod goes to visit his good friend, the murderer. Copper is all like, "good to see you, bro, but we ain't that tight no more." (not a direct quote). Basically, for Tod, it's like when your bestie joins the football team and all of a sudden doesn't want to sit with you at lunch. Copper is exiling Tod from the cool kids' table. Just as Tod's trying to apply some metaphorical aloe vera to his emotions wounds, Chief wakes up. Cue chase scene. We also return back to the string and brass music. This time, however, it's more personal. Tod is the strings and Copper is the brass. They're both music, but they're different. Amos is involved now. Tod hides under a log, and Copper finds him with his expert tracking skills.  Then he pretty much says, "next time I see you in these here parts, imma kill you, fool!" More directly, he says that this is the one time he will let him go, which is still a colossal leap from "We'll be friends forever." 

           Tod takes off and Chief follows him. They go to the train tracks. Now I've watched enough movies to know that nothing good ever happens at night at the train tracks. Sure enough, Chief gets taken out by a train, but he survives, and no one liked him anyway. Copper, despite the fact that it wasn't Tod's fault, he and Chief weren't super close, he and Tod are former BFFs, and Chief is not dead whatsoever, declares that he will seek vengeance on Tod. That seems like a pretty douche-y move to me. Honestly, take a chill pill or two, Copper. Sure, Tod remotely had something to do with your friend breaking his leg, but you wiped out like half of his species. Who's really at fault here?

            It's crazy how rapidly Copper's loyalty shifts. I think it's a combination of duty and pressure. He spent a long time with just Chief and Amos. Their nurturing probably wore off on him quite a bit. Meaning that the only thing saying that Tod and Copper can't be friends is what society is telling them. 

          Amos has finally had it up to here (holding hand over head) with Widow Tweed's fox so he marches down there to tell her so. Notice that Amos only ever calls her "female", "woman", or "widow". He doesn't call her by name. He doesn't identify her as an individual, but as a general. That's the whole premise of the film. It's "The Fox and the Hound" not "Tod and Copper." It's about labels and being who you are versus who you're supposed to be. 

           Another fun theory: when Tweed is sitting in her living room, you can see a picture hanging on the wall behind her. I think that this is her deceased husband and for a couple of reasons. First, it's the only distinct picture on the wall (besides some birds in a later shot). They wouldn't have put detail into animating it without reason. Also the movie begs for some information about her husband because she is so prominently identified as a widow. It's a small hint, but it's something.       

     

                                                  That is a sexy mustache...

     After duking it out, Tweed decides that it's time to call it quits with her buddy, Tod. For this next part you need to prepare. Everybody take a short break and return with the following items: kleenex (the ultra soft kind), a pint of ice cream, a spoon bigger than average, sweat pants, makeup remover, and a good friend on speed dial. Got that? The makeup remover is to take off your mascara because I guarantee you, it will come off the hard way or the easy way, but it's coming off. The friend is for emotional support in case you go into a sudden depression in the next few minutes.

      Tweed starts driving Tod off in the truck. Tod is, once again, naive and thinks it's just a fun road trip. Widow Tweed, with a tear in her eye, mentally recites a poem about her beloved friendship with Tod. It's quite beautiful. Let's talk about it. So the poetry really enforces the idea of how beautiful and profound their love was. The poem is written in near rhyme, however. It's not completely a rhyme. Just almost. Tod and Copper were almost the same. They were both adventurous and curious. They were compatible. They had free spirits and full hearts, but then society intervened (scumbag society), reminded them of what they were supposed to be, and that was that. They were close, but not quite. Imma just let the pictures speak for this next part:

     

                                                 SO DANG SAD!!!!!!!

         

                          THIS WOMAN JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HER FOX!!!!

                                                          LOOK AT IT!!!!   

   

                         Of course it's raining...why the heck wouldn't it be?!?!?!

          If you need to take a breather, call that friend, finish your ice cream, whatever you need, now's the time to do it. 

          Back on track (as if we aren't emotionally numb by now)...There's a lot of shots of animals and if you pay attention you can tell that most of them are animals Amos has referenced killing. Tod is just another opportunity now. Tod struggles with making friends with the rugged forest folk until a lil' porcupine or hedgehog or something comes over. "I've been watching you, sir." How is that an okay way to start a conversation? It's not! But, you know, Tod hasn't proven to be the brightest crayon in the box so he moves in with the smallish creature. 

         The next morning, Big Mama flies in. She mentions needing to loose a few lbs, which is not good for an owl to say. For an owl a few lbs is the difference between life and death. Enter Miss Flirty McFlirtson. 

     

     Her name is Vixey (get it? Like a vixen?) because the friendly folks at Disney weren't feeling original that day.

      Tod, because he's a guy, is all for it. Since the babes like athletic dudes, she propositions that Tod catches a fish for her. Tod, once again being a guy, is all like, "Yeah. It's not like I was raised in a farmhouse next to a fireplace or anything."  So Vixey, who is totes testing him out to see if he's got potential, watches as Tod literally fails harder than any one else in this movie, and that's saying something considering an avid hunter missed the same fox about thirty times.  The fact that Tod can't catch a fish, however, separates him from Copper. Copper is a born hunter. He could do it in his sleep. Tod....let's just not talk about it. He sucks. 

       Vixey laughs coyly and Tod thinks she's making fun of him so he throws a fit, because he's a GUY.  He calls her a "female." Notice that's what Amos calls Tweed. Winky face. When Big Mama tries to convince Tod to win her back, he says the greatest phrase ever uttered on film (besides poppycock): "Oh raspberries! I've had it!" Let that sink in. I'm using that one. He goes and kisses up to Flirty McFlirtson who takes his apology a little...too friendly. 

  

                                                           I'm calling slut.

       They go on a walk and suddenly she's bringing up the topic of babies! Who is this lady? You just met him, honey! We all saw what happened to Anna. 

         Back to Amos and the dogs...they see a "No Hunting" sign and just dang ignore it! Quick PSA: Hunt responsibly! The end. 

            Aaaand back to our fox friends. They...um...wake up...together...in a cave. So that's, um, a little suggestive.

    

                                          Proof that Disney isn't just for kids.

         Copper finds Tod, and instead of congratulating him on scoring like a bro, he starts going for the kill. Jerk. There's some chasing, and Tod and Vixey hide in a brush-y bush thing. And Amos sets it on fire. Of course. Ever been so desperate to catch a fox that you risked starting a forest fire? Smokey would not approve of this. By the way, our favorite music motif is back! Then the movie introduces another participant in our lovely war.

   

                       I'd just like to say: Is the bear really necessary? Come on!

         The bear targets Copper and Tod comes to his rescue faster than you can say "Oh raspberries". See? Tod doesn't hold grudges! Tod doesn't care if you've tried to kill him countless times, wiped out half of his species, begged for his death. Tod is still there for you. I like Tod. Both the bear and Tod fall off a cliff...rather unfortunately. This does say, however, that hate doesn't just take others down; it takes you down too. But the bear dies and Tod lives so that's good news right? Amos, who I assume has been sitting there rubbing his hands maniacally together whispering, "I'll get that fox" under his breath, steps up to shoot Tod. Copper, in a valiant act of redemption, pulls a Pocahontas!

       

                   But, Daddy, I love him! (note: that's from The Little Mermaid NOT Pocahontas)

             Amos finally gets some sense and takes Copper and leaves without touching Tod. This is what I just don't understand! The stupid fox and the hound just want to be friends, dangit! Just let them be friends!!!! Why would you stinking try to just plain kill their spirits?! Friendship is a beautiful thing no matter who had it! You're just like that scumbag Ewel trying to kill a mockingbird. SOCIETY SUCKS!!!! MLK did not have a dream so that idiots could go tell a hound dog who he can and can't play with. What if Copper doesn't like hunting? Huh? What if he wants to play fetch or compete in dog shows? Huh? STOP TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO! A fox is not better than a hound! A hound is not better than a fox! If we keep acting like this, we will fricking get attacked by a bear! So you all just need to go home, apologize to your mother for being a worthless human being, and start loving people, darnit! 

             Inhale. Exhale. Ok. Squeaks turns into a butterfly. That's cool because it shows that we are not all what we appear to be. Tod is more than a savage to be hunted. It also shows how beautiful we can become when we avoid aggression. Also, Widow Tweed is nursing Amos' wounds. He needs her. He underestimated her when he NEEDED her. The movie ends with Copper going to sleep as Tod and Vixey watch from afar. They do an audio replay of "We'll be friends forever, won't we?" So they can't be friends but they'll always love each other. Tod moved on. Copper moved on. People change. Life goes on. It sucks. It's sad. It happens. I don't even know what to say anymore. 

                          I just....I don't know...moral of the story: people suck. The end.

 
 
     

 
 

   

   

      

 
 

              

     

Treasure Planet

Soooo...I have never watched Treasure Planet because apparently I'm a horrible person. This week, however, I sat down to watch it for the first time. Before I begin, here is a list of things I knew before starting the movie:

1. It's based on Treasure Island which I have read.

2. It takes place in space.

3. It's got this cute pink guy.

4. According to IMDB it features the vocal talents of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emma Thompson, and Martin Short, all of whom I love dearly. 

Now that I've gotten that out of the way...

Right away they've captured me with the music. There's this space fight with space pirates. All of it is narrated by a guy who honestly has the best dang voice I've ever heard. He puts James Earl Jones to shame....not really, but he's close. I'd also like to point out that at one point the Jaws theme is played. Subtle, Disney. Then we see the infamous Captain Flint, terrorist of the seas...or skies. Whatever.

                    WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS THIS SATANIC BEING?

     Now I'm kind of glad that I never watched this as a kid. Speaking of kids, we see our first glimpse of our story's protagonist: Jim Hawkins. He's quite an adorable little lad. It's a very whimsical beginning to a film as his mom tells him Captain Flint's story. Some things I'm noticing about color:

       1. There are lots of golds, reds, and greens.

       2. Gold, throughout the film, is usually only shown when symbolizing wealth or fortune. For instance, the gold on the pirate ship above.

       3. Red is usually shown when it symbolizes danger. I will elaborate as more examples reveal themselves.

       4. Green is our adventure symbol. It is the color Hawkins wears throughout the movie.

   

                    Psst: there's green coming out of the book. Hint hint wink wink. 

   Kids love adventure. They are always pretending and use their wide imaginations to dream up adventurous scenarios. I have a theory on why this is: children are immobile to society. They are young and untainted by the world. They are pure and are told to live boring lives. It's not the fault of society, but the fault of innocence. They are not skilled and are not educated. They have not developed common sense or talent. This is what I mean by "immobile to society". If you look at the raw fundamentals of childhood, you would assume that they are consumed in boredom. Children, however, are blessed with something that adults tend to lack: imagination. They compensate for the lack of mobility in their lives through pretense. That is why they are drawn to adventure. It's one of the few gifts they have that adults do not.

    Flash forward twelve years later and we see our hero again. (Photo taken from later in the movie). 

                               

Id like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that Jim has baggy clothing, a rat tail/half-shaved bowl cut combo, a skateboard, and an earring. But it's okay because those things were cool in 2002. 

     Also notice how he still has hints of green but it's extremely faded. His childlike wonderment is gone for the most part. 

     Apparently Jim's super-cool single mom runs an inn (seriously this woman is crazy cool! She's a single parent with a job who loves her son and her career. All while being absolutely gorgeous).

     It looks like a good number of the characters are actually animals, so basically it's like any other Disney movie, just set in space. We find that robo cops are downers as they drag a distraught Jim into the inn and cramp his style as they hand his poorly-dressed butt back to his mother. Right off the bat we know that Jim is suffering some emotional damage. I believe this has to do with his lack of father. I'm not saying that fatherless children grow up to be delinquents. That's a generalization. I am saying that boys need a male influence in their lives to teach them how to be a gentleman. Jim doesn't have that....unless you count Delbert (did I mention him? He's pretty nifty). Jim also has an unconventional hobby: solar surfing, which is basically the outer space equivalent to skateboarding. He also builds these space skateboards. This is an expression of both Jim's need for adventure and his longing to escape his circumstance. He is trapped in reality, and he craves adventure because it is not contained in his situation. 

     So our dear friend Jim Hawkins goes gallivanting about and suddenly there's a crash. And then the audience is indulged to the image of the creepiest flippin' turtle anyone has ever seen.

     

                                                           Why? Just WHY?

      So Jimmy, being the intellectual he is, decides to help the creepy turtle guy. Because why not? The turtle says some stuff resembling "Beware the cyborg!"(ooooh! Cyborg!) and then bites the dust in possibly the most dramatic on-screen death this generation has ever seen. This guy deserves an Oscar and a slow clap. Cue suspense.

     Jim grabs that chest-looking thing and heads for the inn. A few sparks later and there is no inn, but luckily Jim and his madre find shelter at Delbert's house (I think it's Delbert's house. I've never seen this before). Inside the treasure chest its....IT'S......WAIT FOR IT......an orb!

     

                                                                  Take it in, folks.

               Delbert delivers the bad news that it could take forever to open it since it's so complicated and whatnot, but Jim presses a few buttons and voila: it's a map. This is once again comparing youth and adulthood (seems to be a reoccurring theme with Disney). Older individuals are more sensible after being corrected countless times by reality. They think complexly. Younger individuals have not yet learned to see things as complicated and think simplistically. This is why Jim finds the map so easily. 

            

                                This isn't the sort of map you'd find in Dora's backpack. 

This is high-tech space stuff. Notice that it's GREEN. Naturally, the map leads to Treasure Planet so Delbert and Jim Hawkins get all excited and decide to go on a field trip. Mama Hawkins vetoes that plan, but after some light convincing, she lets her baby go...and Delbert of course. 

         Next they head to...dun dun dun....the spaceport!

       

                                                    I recognize this from the trailer!!!!! 

         I actually anticipated this part so much that it's kind of anticlimactic now. Side note: Delbert is super prepared for this journey.

        

                                                      Not today, pirates! Not today!

      They head over to their ship and meet the interesting crew. Good news: The captain is a woman. Yay feminism. Bad news: that means she has to fall in love with someone. At this point in my first viewing I had to ask myself if she was too old for our dear Jim. I decided yes. So that means she's probably going to fall in love with Delbert. 

      

                               After all, they've already got the sexual tension nailed.

           Plus I'm pretty sure that he's a dog and she's a cat. That just screams potential love story. Emma Thompson, I mean, Captain Amelia, sends Jim to work with Mr. Silver in the kitchen. Having read Treasure Island, I know where this is going. Turns out Mr. Silver is a cyborg so plot twist.

            

                             ITS THE PINK GUY! 'WAITED MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD FOR THIS!

         Turns out, I really really really like the little pink guy. Too bad he hangs out with the creepers. Jim, once again pulling from his intellect, decides to go into stealth mode and interrogate the cyborg. That, shockingly, doesn't work all that well. Meanwhile, it's the most convenient look out ever:

       

                                        Look at how happy he is to be doing his job. 

        It also turns out that Captain Amelia doesn't actually do anything. She just orders people around. 

   In other news: Space whales!!

       

                                                      You know, I speak whale. 

    While I'm on a picture rampage...

       

 These guys make Davy Jones' crew in POTC look like unicorns made out of lollipops and happiness.
So some stuff goes down and Jim Hawkins gets in a tussle with this handsome fella:

      

                                        This guy just looks like a joy to be around.

       But of course Jim gets away because every villain has that compulsive disorder where they have to lecture their prey before they actually do any damage, so Mr. Silver comes to the rescue. Villains of the world, listen up: Stop being so dang talkative!! That is all. 

       Since that picture is up, take a moment to notice Jim's scar. The scar is a physical reflection of the trauma he went through with his father's departure and the manifestation of how it still effects Jim today.  

        I've decided that the pink thing is the best. The plot thickens as we learn that there is a mutiny in the works. That's what happens when you don't "Beware the cyborg" like the creepy turtle told you to. Then as Jim and Silver cross paths, this idiot has to thank him for saving him from the crustacean. Don't thank him, Jim! Don't you know a bad guy when you see one?

         In this next scene, Jim and Silver become good friends at which point I'm banging my head rapidly into the wall. Do the words "Beware the cyborg" mean ANYTHING to you? Don't "Befriend the cyborg!", "Beware the cyborg!"

          This scene does have great music though and some pretty decent flashbacks...not decent for Jim though because his father left him. Interestingly enough, these flashbacks never show the dad's face. This means a lot of things. First of all, it means that Jim never really got to know his father. His father being faceless shows that Jim never had a chance to identify with him. Second of all, it means that his father didn't have a lasting impression on Jim. The face is symbolic for emotional impact of which he had no positive impression on Jim. Lastly, it symbolizes the father's death to Jim. The father is completely out of the picture and has no bearing on Jim whatsoever. 

            Jim seems to be really latching onto Silver. This also deals with him being fatherless. Jim has never had a father figure and therefore has subconsciously longed for one. Opportunity presented itself and Jim latched on. 

          Let's talk about our friendly neighborhood cyborg shall we? Being a cyborg is an important quality to Silver. It represents his dual personalities and his facade. Part of him is flesh. It's soft and stable, tangible, and warm. Most of all: it's real. This is who Silver is when he's with Jim. The other part of him is metal. It's mechanical and he tells it how to work. It's hard and complicated, detailed, and tough. Most of all: it's fake. This is who Silver is with the other pirates. 

          I'm gonna throw a quote out there real quick: "You give up a few things chasing a dream." Ain't that the truth? If that's not deep then I don't know what is. 

          Next, the ship runs into some complications and Jim is given the task of securing everyone to the ship, which is interesting. Jim at this point in the movie is attempting to secure his life and find stability. He wants to be tied down. This is what he's trying to give to everyone on the ship. 

             There's lots of action, and Captain Amelia is actually doing things. Delbert, the unsung hero, does some math stuff that I'm not skilled enough to decipher. Then the movie takes its first casualty (excluding Mr. Turtle) in the form of the trusty first mate. Someone's rope was not secure. Cue bagpipes. They have a short but sweet ceremony and it's truly beautiful. If you're gonna cry, now is the part to do it (unless you did your crying during the flashbacks). 

            You know what we haven't talked about in a while? Colors! I said in the beginning that red indicated danger. You might also have noticed that the talkative creep is red. Also, the first mate was wearing a red coat, so his death was foreshadowed from the beginning. 

              Amelia thanks Delbert for his help which, for her, is basically a confession of love. I...wait for it....ship them! I love me a good pirate pun. 

            On a less joyous note, Jim is dealing with the intense guilt of killing a guy. Although, I don't think he did it. If you ask me it was Mr. Chatty Kathy over there. Also am I the only one who sees this every time I look at Silver and Jim?

      

           Mr. Silver and Mad-Eye both have a fake eye and leg. Harry and Jim both have a scar and are fatherless. 

                        Coincidence? I think n...actually it is just a coincidence. 

      Jim goes all creeper and stalks the pirates who are talking about a mutiny in the works. I bet he's wishing that he beware-d the cyborg now. So all in one day, Jim has killed a guy and learned that his father-figure is betraying him. That's what I would consider a rough day. But, all hope is not lost because Treasure Planet is in sight!!! 
   

 

                                              *singing* and its GREEE-EEEN.

              Then Jim and Silver have an unfortunate meeting. That awkward moment when your bestie knows that you know that he's not your bestie anymore. Jim finally has an intellectual moment, however, and stabs Silver's leg before taking off. Finally, he beware-d the cyborg! I'm so proud. Silver and Jimmy get into this race for the orb. My question is: why doesn't Jim just have Morph decoy as the orb? Honestly, it's the perfect plan. Jim gets the orb, however, and takes off. Silver has the perfect opportunity to shoot Jim and does not take that opportunity. He has a heart! It's probably mechanical and made of metal but it's a heart!

             Turns out Captain Amelia was injured. Take care of her, Delby! This is your opportunity to swoop in and claim your woman! Captain Amelia asks for the map, and Jim hands it to her. Unfortunately it turns into Morph. Seriously, Morph? Now you decide to take my advice? Delbert does, in fact, take care of Amelia. Meanwhile, Jim and his pink buddy go exploring. 

             They find an adorable robot!! 

    

       If he's been on this planet for a hundred years then why isn't he like the tin man yet? Logic.

     Another quote that tickles my fancy, "You go a little nuts!" Get it? That's some genuine humor, right there. Update: BEN is my new favorite character. He's a gem, I tell ya. Jim and the rest of the crew powwow at BEN's home and Delbert settles in to spend some quality time with his bae. 

     

     Now not only do they have sexual tension but deep emotional chemistry. Isn't that the dream?

          Silver's caught up with the gang and offers a meeting with "no tricks". Pay attention, folks; I'm about to give a public service announcement. If someone says "no tricks" it always means "Yes, there's definitely tricks!" The end.

           Jim, ignoring my advice, goes to meet Silver. They share plans and a threat. It's a fun time had by all. Until Jim tells him what's up and heads back for BEN's house. Good news, BEN has machinery under his house that acts as tunnels. Ooooh machinery! They sneak out and Jim hijacks a boat to get to the bigger boat. Then, our least favorite crustacean makes an unwelcome appearance. Stuff gets pretty scary, and then turns into one of those zero-gravity combat scenes that we all love. Finally, the creep falls to his death. 

              I would say "victory" but unfortunately, Silver has once again caught up. He leads a parade of pirates and captives to where the map leads to. Turns out it's this door that changes locations. Kind of like a portal. So I guess that window at the beginning was foreshadowing. 

      

                                                Didn't see that coming, did you?

       I love this part of the movie because it's so easy to see Jim becoming a man. He shows so much more leadership qualities and independence. 

       Special shout-out to the writer for the Moby Dick reference. Treasure!

      

                                             And it's gold! ...literally and figuratively.
           Ahem. Notice the red sails up ahead though. We now know that this is a BAD thing. Before we get into the gruesome details on that, BEN gets his mind back! Yay! And then there's this thing about a booby trap and a self-destruct system so that's a downer.

          Back at the ship, Delbert finds the joy in having tiny wrists and breaks himself and his woman free from the "brutish pirates". The pirates and adventurers team up and put their heads together. Jim decides he can get to the portal on time if he has a solar surfboard. So if you're showing a rather odd interest in the rare craft of skateboard or surfboard making, you are in luck. This movies proves that it comes in handy. Silver helps Jim, and it's really weird, because they're not on the best terms. Seriously, they betrayed each other, threatened each other, and then one of them held the other one hostage. It's not an ideal relationship. 

           Guess what? They survive!! Yay for teamwork. Here's how it goes down:

          They escaped without any gold showing that the adventure was more important than the wealth. It's more important to live a fulfilled life than a successful one. In fact, happiness is success. Experience beats wealth. 

           More important than anything else is that Delbert and Amelia do fall in love! Called it! Such a lovely couple...

            All of the pirates are headed to jail, so that's fun.

           Jim is wandering around the ship and he comes across dear old Cyborg Silver trying to make a run for it. Busted. They have this beautiful heart-to-heart and realize some things. They are completely different. They want different things in life, but they still have a soft spot for each other. They bro it out and decide to part ways. Also, Morph converts to Team Jim. Jim decides to make a life for himself and Silver decides to stick with pirating. He also gives Jim some treasure he snuck off the planet for Jim's mom to restart her business. Basically, as everyone's favorite talk show host would say:

    

                                                              Everyone gets a future!

          So Jim returns home to possibly the best single parent ever and picks his life up. I'd also like to mention that he ditches the baggy clothes and wears white and....Gold! He is living a treasure life, folks. He got the treasure and he didn't need an ounce of money to do it. 

           Another thing I respect is that he didn't have to find love. The movie wasn't about making yourself into a couple. It was about making yourself happy, and isn't that the first step? Jim learned to love himself. Mark my words, though...he will get a girl someday. He's got everything women are looking for. 

       

                               I mean, who doesn't love a guy with a sexy, anorexic mullet?